Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn and you find yourself somewhere you never ever expected to be. Such a thing happened to me yesterday. I have been having problems with my back for many years. About 18 months ago I had an accident and hurt my knee quite badly. After the accident my back problems got much worse and then my ankle started hurting. At first it was simply dismissed as complications of my knee injury as I was not walking well. However as the knee healed it became apparent that my other problems were getting worse. Worried, I visited my GP and was referred to a rheumatologist. You see, I have a very strong family history of arthritis and my doctor was concerned that there might be a connection between this and my symptoms. So finally yesterday, after weeks of hospital visits and tests I finally got the diagnosis - rheumatiod arthritis.
After a sleepless night I am still in shock. Lots of things are running through my head at the moment. How will this affect my future, my relationship with my OH and also my working life? I really haven't come up with any answers yet. I feel as if the rug has been pulled from beneath my feet.
I am determined to be positive about this latest development but at the moment I honestly don't know quite what to do next.
I thought long and hard before writing this blog entry. I was worried that it would appear as though I was wallowing in self-pity. That honestly isn't the case. It really does help to write it down. I will let you know what conclusions I come to over the next few weeks.
Understandably I haven't been able to concentrate on my beading. However I have a commission to complete so I will have to try to forget my problems and get on with it. Hopefully it will help me feel better, beading usually does.
4 comments:
I am really sorry to hear that you have deal with some humdingers of lemons. I don't know much about RA but a very gifted writer that is eloquent on the subject is a Canadian called Lene and her blog is here http://theseatedview.blogspot.com/. Lene has dealt with this condition since childhood and probably has a very different set of experiences but she does talk intelligently and openly about how it has affected her. She also writes on a website MyRACentral which is here http://www.healthcentral.com/rheumatoid-arthritis/. I don't know how helpful all this is but I thought I'd let you know about these sources of information.
This is a lot to process for you and your lived ones at the moment. Give yourself time and space to integrate the news into your sense of self and give yourself permission to feel what you want to feel. Don't pretend it's all fine and dandy if it isn't.
I wish you all the love and support that you need.
I am so sorry to hear your news. Sometimes you just need some thinking and 'coming to terms with' space.
I agree with CraftyCripple. Give yourself time, space and permission to feel whatever you want.
My sister has rheumatoid arthritis and has had for years. She was told she would end up crippled, so decided to retire at 50 so she could travel and enjoy places before she was not physically able. They have been travelling in a motorhome for 4 years now and she has even started riding a bicycle and hikes! She feels better! Just the lifestyle change has done it!
Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I will definitely check out Lene's blog and website. Your good wishes and support mean a lot.
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